35 Years Later: SHARE Founders Reminisce
In 1976, the US was celebrating its bicentennial, New York City's economy was failing, and a group of women were coming together to do something revolutionary -- talk about their experiences with breast cancer. This was the start of SHARE -- 12 women in a support group in NYC. Here are remembrances from three of those women, who recently answered the question:
What was happening in your life at that time, and what brought you to the first meeting of what would become SHARE?
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Sandy Warshaw
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In 1976, my children were on their way to college, I was in the midst of a divorce, and I was coping with breast cancer. I turned to SHARE (or what would become SHARE) because I really needed support. I had come to this realization through seeing what Betty Ford was going through. I really saw her as my role model. She had so much support from her family when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and that made me realize how important it is to have support when managing this disease. I got that support from the group, and in addition, I also became a breast cancer advocate through SHARE. People didn't talk about having the disease then the way they do now. But when Saks Fifth Avenue fired a woman after learning she'd had a mastectomy, we made our disease public. Many of us from SHARE went on strike against Saks, burned our Saks cards, and were then interviewed on television. We "came out" about having breast cancer. |
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Lee Miller |
In 1975 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was considered a death sentence. At that time there were no peer support groups. Although everyone was extremely supportive in my family and friends, the remarks expressed were often sympathetic (which sometimes made me feel diminished) rather than empathic. I cried every night as my husband held me in his arms, and I tried to continue my everyday life. I wondered "Whom could I talk to?" There must be other women who could help me cope with this betrayal of my body. The answer would come one year later when Dr. Eugene Thiessen, a breast specialist, felt that women with breast cancer needed a support group where they could talk with their peers who truly understood. We sat in a circle and began to speak about the effect this disease had on us and our families. We spoke about our fear of dying, what we would miss, how others reacted to us and feeling less feminine with the loss of a breast. We began to really listen to others and better understand the damaging effects of having breast cancer. We became increasingly closer to each other and felt grateful for the opportunity to speak freely without hurting our loved ones outside of this circle. It was the first time I felt hope! |
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Jackie Feldstein |
As a social worker, I was impacted by SHARE and their efforts to help others, so I went to the first meeting to support others. Of course what I found was great joy in sharing with women who were facing a major challenge in their lives. Not only was I able to help others, but I received support, knowledge, companionship, a way to advocate and to bring breast cancer out of the closet because it was so hidden back then. One of the many things that I remember was that as a group we were not only able to share our experiences, but through laughter, we learned to cope with an illness which could be life threatening. As a life-long activist, I remember the time we picketed Saks, and how the police helped these upper-middle class women learn how to picket!! |
Pictured above: Dr. Eugene Thiessen, founder of SHARE, with Jackie Feldstein (in red), Lee Miller (far right) and other founding members in the late 1990s.
How Sandy, Lee, and Jackie Have Stayed Involved with SHARE
Sandy worked to get SHARE incorporated as a nonprofit and then became our first Vice President of the Board. She stayed involved until the late 70s or early 80s, and then got involved again in the late 90s, taking a yoga class with Roberta Schine, participating in SHARE-A-Walks, and promoting SHARE to those newly diagnosed. She became a member of an Advisory Board at SHARE from 2000-2009 and has also represented SHARE at World Seido Karate Benefit annual tournaments, where she ensured SHARE became a beneficiary of contributions. She remains an active donor.
Lee has been actively involved with SHARE for 35 years. She served as President of SHARE's Board of Directors for eight years and has been an active Emeritus Board Member for the past few years. She designed the first facilitation and hotline programs, and created and continues to run the "Patient/Doctor Communication: Side by Side" program. She has also continued to plan and host SHARE's Memorial Ceremony for 16 years, and held Bereavement groups for 5 years. Lee has been an active donor throughout the years and donated all proceeds from her 2007 book, The Cancer Challenge: Sharing the Experience to SHARE.
Jackie was active with SHARE for many years, participating in groups and volunteering on the Hotline, and getting involved with SHARE-A-Walk events. Since moving to the West in 2000, she has participated in one walk, remains an active donor, and keeps up-to-date on SHARE's activities through our web site and email newsletter.
Posted September 6, 2011.
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— Joan Pagano