Calling SHARE's Hotline was Deeply Reassuring
Every woman who answers the Hotline at SHARE was once on the other end of the line. Each of us once heard the words "You have cancer." Each of us once longed to talk to someone who knew firsthand what we were going through. Each of us once picked up the phone and dialed the Hotline number.
It was four and a half years ago that I heard the words "You have cancer." I was stunned. Like most people who get a diagnosis of breast cancer, I had no family history of the disease. Although my friends and family were wonderfully supportive, I was overwhelmed by loneliness and fear. I knew that 1 in 8 women gets breast cancer in her lifetime. Where were all those women? I felt if I could just talk to one of them, I could cope. Sitting in medical offices, waiting for doctors' appointments and lab tests and scans, I knew I was probably surrounded by women with breast cancer, but I didn't know how to start the conversation.
Then I found a brochure for SHARE. I remember the sense of relief I felt when I heard the hearty voice of the woman who answered my call. Here was someone with my disease, and she was alive -- and well enough to work as a volunteer! That alone was deeply reassuring. It gave me hope that I, too, would live and be well again.
Over the course of my treatment, I called the Hotline on two other occasions: once to discuss whether I should have a bilateral mastectomy, and once after I'd decided to have the surgery, to discuss whether I should have reconstruction. SHARE Hotline volunteers can't give callers medical advice, but they can act as a sounding board and arrange for a caller to speak with a "peer match," someone whose disease or treatment is similar to the caller's. I found these conversations enormously helpful. In each case, the person who answered the phone was knowledgeable, sympathetic and frank. But it was that first phone call that was the most cathartic.
I think many women who call the Hotline have an experience similar to mine: They feel relief just in speaking to someone who has had their disease. They feel hope that they too will live and be well. I can hear the fear melting from their voices over the course of a phone call. In a way, that is the most important role we Hotline volunteers play: just by being there and picking up the phone when it rings, we model survivorship.
Posted March 9, 2010.
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