Life Goes On—in Good Ways and Bad
When you're diagnosed with breast cancer, life doesn't stop and wait for you to get better. It keeps putting challenges in your path. During the time that I was undergoing treatment, my mother had a stroke; I had to empty and sell her apartment; my sister-in-law —who lived four hours away—was diagnosed with head-and-neck cancer and needed my husband and me to help with caregiving; and layoffs at work imposed what amounted to a work speedup for those of us who held onto our jobs.
My story is by no means unusual. As a volunteer on the SHARE Hotline, I hear accounts of heartbreaking hardship —and enormous endurance. In the course of discussing their illness, women tell me about troubled children, abusive employers, sexual harassment by co-workers, home foreclosures, evictions, ex-husbands' failure to pay child support, betrayals by trusted friends, lawsuits, vermin infestations and more.
When you're under the weather from the side effects of your treatment and under the gun to solve problems at home or at work, you can feel overwhelmed. That's a good time to call the SHARE Hotline. Although our primary mission is to provide support for your cancer journey, we know that other issues can exacerbate the distress of cancer. We can lend a sympathetic ear, help you brainstorm strategies for coping and sometimes find resources for practical help with the issues that are troubling you.
Depending on the problem you're facing, the SHARE Hotline may be able to give you specific suggestions. Over the years, the staff and volunteers have compiled a list of organizations and agencies that address the predicaments that callers most often tell us about. The awful truth is that some problems have no solutions. But many do, and when you call us, we'll share what we know.
In addition, there are some all-purpose resources that sometimes get overlooked in the panic of a crisis. Three good starting places for finding help with many of life's problems:
3-1-1
In the past 15 years, cities from Los Angeles to New York have instituted 3-1-1 telephone referral lines. "Oh, great," I can hear you saying, "I'll spend the rest of my life on hold listening to elevator music and pressing numbers in automated menus." Actually, the 3-1-1 lines have proved surprisingly efficient in connecting citizens to real, live people in appropriate city services.
Your social worker
Depending on where you're getting your medical treatment, you may have access to social workers. They can often guide you over, under or around the hurdles in your life—even those not directly related to your cancer.
Your legislator's office
Your local and state legislators need your vote, and often they're willing to work for you to get it. Some city council members and state representatives have staff members dedicated to helping individual constituents find solutions to their problems.
Cancer is a difficult journey, but as with any journey, knowledgeable travel companions can ease the way. You don't need to walk alone. Call SHARE to speak to a fellow traveler.
Posted April 29, 2010.
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