Do the New Year Resolutions of those with Metastatic Breast Cancer differ from others?
With the start of a New Year, as well as pivotal changes in SHARE'S leadership on the way, we - the staff - have been evaluating our programs, tightening our budgets, reshaping old goals and creating new ones. We are, in essence, making our professional resolutions for the New Year. Thinking about my own personal resolutions as well as the resolutions of women living with metastatic breast cancer, I began a thoroughly unscientific quest for information about the personal resolutions of those living with MBC as well as the origin of New Year Resolutions themselves. Here's what I found out:
New Year's Day celebrations began in pre-Christian times, starting with the Babylonians during the month of March, but later changed to January by the Romans. January, as you might know, gets its name from Janus, the two-faced god who looks simultaneously backwards into the old year, and forward into the new. Janus was also the patron and protector of arches, gates, doors, doorways, and endings and beginnings. He was also the patron of bridges. A double- headed statue of Janus still sits today on the Roman bridge Ponte Fabricio, which spans over the Tiber River to Tiber Island, where it has stood since its construction 62 BC, during the time of Julius Caesar. Even now, it is widely believed that if you touch the Janus head as you cross the bridge, it will bring good fortune.
The custom of making "New Years resolutions" began during this period in Rome, where their thoughts usually turned to resolutions with a moral flavor, often promising to treat others with respect and kindness. This custom had varying degrees of popularity over the centuries, and some Christians hesitated to observe New Year practices associated with honoring a pagan god.
Centuries later, the Puritans urged their children to skip New Year's revelry altogether, and instead reflect upon the past year while at the same time, contemplating the year ahead. In this characteristically Puritan way, they re-defined the old custom of making resolutions. Mostly they made commitments to better employ their talents, treat their neighbors with charity, and avoid habitual sins.
The American theologian, Jonathan Edwards, who was brought up in New England Puritan culture, took the writing of resolutions to a whole new level. But he did not write his resolutions on a single day. Instead, during a two-year period when he was 19 or 20 following his graduation from Yale, Edwards wrote an impressive 70 resolutions.
Upon reading these resolutions, I was struck not only by the profundity of each and every one, but also how relevant many continue to be today. Below are several of Jonathan Edwards' resolutions. All 70 can be found here.
5. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.
6. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.
9. Resolved, to think much on all occasions of my own dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death.
17. Resolved, that I will live so as I shall wish I had done when I come to die.
20. Resolved, to maintain the strictest temperance in eating and drinking.
22. Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself (as much happiness, in the other world,) as I possibly can, with all the power, might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of.
33. Resolved, always to do what I can towards making, maintaining and establishing peace, when it can be without over-balancing detriment in other respects.
34. Resolved, in narrations never to speak anything but the pure and simple verity.
36. Resolved, never to speak evil of any, except I have some particular good call for it.
52. I frequently hear persons in old age say how they would live, if they were to live their lives over again: resolved, that I will live just so as I can think I shall wish I had done, supposing I live to old age.
69. Resolved, always to do that, which I shall wish I had done when I see others do it.
70. Let there be something of benevolence, in all that I speak.
Over the course of a few virtual minutes, women living with MBC wrote the following resolutions:
- Live one day at a time
- Focus on what I want in life
- Be "other" focused
- Eat healthy
- Love better
- Live every day to the fullest
Jonathan Edwards clearly wrote before the now requisite use of limited characters where the resolutions of the modern women are Twitter ready. Despite the length of the resolutions, there are many similarities in meaning, which are summarized here:
Live the life you want to live, live it to the fullest, think about and expect death, don't say bad things about people (unless of course you have good reason to), practice acts of kindness and generosity, speak the truth, work for peace, eat better and do not drink too much.
My personal favorite "resolution" or what has come to be known as my personal motto was written by a friend who died of MBC at the age of 42:
"Do What You Want To Do, Before It's Too Late" (Michelle Weiser)
Despite our individual challenges, perhaps these are words for us all to live by….
Posted January 24, 2012.
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