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October: What does it mean to you?

By Ilene Winkler

From Mets Matters Blog

"Breast cancer is not pretty, pink, sexy, only for older women, the 'good' kind of cancer, fun, cured with a positive attitude, only for October." So says a T-shirt that's popular on the message board bcmets.org.

October is a difficult month for many women with breast cancer, especially women living with metastatic disease. Pink kitchen appliances, pink NFL cheerleader outfits, pink ribbons everywhere. A message that early detection saves lives. Celebrities celebrating how they beat breast cancer. And, all too often, a message that metastatic women are not welcome at the pink-ribbon party because they will frighten everyone else and mess up the celebration of survivorship.

What does "survivorship" mean for women whose early detection was Stage 4 cancer? Or for women whose early stage cancer reappeared years later in their bones or their liver? Women who have been told they will be taking chemo for the rest of their lives, and don't know how long the rest of their lives will be? Who know the odds are very high that they will die from their cancer?

October -- what does it mean to you?

Posted October 13, 2009.

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First of all, we need to redefine the word "survivorship" from the meaning it appears to have taken on in the "pink community." I'm one of those people whose "early detection" was Stage 4 cancer: that is, I was diagnosed metastatic from the get-go, two and a half years ago. (And that was after 15 years of regular mammograms--which did not detect my tumor because I have such dense breast tissue!) I've been living with cancer since then, and I'm a survivor! Yet it's clear from most October publicity that many, if not most, people think "survivor" means "you beat the disease." I'd love to be cancer-free, and I'm trying my best to work with my doctors to control my disease as best as possible--I even ride my bicycle to chemo appointments. I'd like to see more of us metastatic people take ownership of this word. If living isn't surviving, what is?

— T., New York City

 
I was the woman
who was so cock sure and very confident that I beat breast cancer.....
I had bi-lateral mastectamies, finished my a/c chemo treatment,
took my arimedex pill once a day for 5 years.
the day my oncologist said you have mets bc I was in shock!!!!!!!!!!!
not me
I dislike the pink community because I want to be a "Survivor" too
The not knowing is the most difficult part
_ S., New York City

— 

 
I feel so mis lead not only by the medical world but also by the media. I was originally stage 2 and "cancer free", two years ago. i thought for sure the cancer would not come back. Well, I started with little aches and pains, thinking it was "getting old". Maybe arthititis or sicaca said the doctor. To make a long story short, the breast cancer had returnned but in my bones. Why did no one listen to me? I knew something was wrong, the pain just didn't go away. But according to the pink world I had cancer beat. My tumor makers were fine. Until the last test were the makers jumped. I am so mad and angry now. so keep your pink hats and bracelets.

— donna

 
My mom was diagnosed with stage 3c ovarian cancer in May of 2000. After a complete hysterectomy and 6 months of chemo she lived cancer-free for 7 years. The recurrence was announced in Sept. of 2007, then it was on to a rollercoaster of numerous different chemo drugs until the last was exhausted. I lost my mom on October 13, 2009, 9 weeks after my first child was born. She was 56. My mom was the bravest person I have ever known and ever will know. To all of the women out there sharing this battle--one day there will be the answers we need to win, until then never stop fighting. Mom may have lost but I can tell you that she never, ever gave up--not for a moment. So what does October mean to me? How long is this message board?

— Mary

 
I hate it when well meaning people buy me bc/pink things. I mean - just how much more aware would you like me to be?

— Karen

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