The Metastatic Roller Coaster

By Ilene Winkler

From Mets Matters Blog

It's October. And for women living with metastatic breast cancer, it's hard to get their voices heard over the onslaught of pink celebrations. I asked our metastatic hotline volunteers for their take on the reality of living with metastatic disease. Here's one contribution, anonymously:

Imagine living a life turned upside down with no right side up in sight.  Suddenly life makes no sense. Nothing does. Long term relationships --  with friends, family, work, institutions, the past, the present, the future  --  turn topsy-turvy. You question everything.

Then imagine living a life beyond fear. You've lived through perhaps your biggest dread  -- a diagnosis of breast or ovarian cancer, perceived as un-survivable, so complex and all-consuming, filled with countless medical challenges and uncertainties. In time, the disease  transforms you, heightens your awareness, awashes you in moments of overwhelming gratitude, intense joy, anger, compassion and sadness, sometimes all at once.  Your world contracts and expands at the same time.  Your inner eye becomes trained on what's real and what's true, and the disease compels you to pursue that -- with a vengeance.  

Living with metastatic breast cancer, in other words, is a roller coaster ride, and you need to hold on. Connecting with other metastatic women helps you do just that.

Posted October 7, 2010.