Rebuilding Myself: A Post-Breast Cancer Reintroduction

00:00:00:00 – 00:00:08:06
Unknown
Welcome to this evening’s webinar, Rebuilding Myself: A Post Breast Cancer Reintroduction.

00:00:08:08 – 00:00:49:03
Unknown
I’m Megan-Claire Chase and I am SHARE’s Breast Cancer Program Director and host of Our BC Life podcast. Plus, I’m an invasive lobular breast cancer survivor. Now, before the presentation begins, I’d like to tell you a little bit about SHARE for any newbies we had in the audience. We’re a national nonprofit that supports, educates and empowers anyone diagnosed with breast or gynecologic cancers because no one should have to face breast, ovarian, uterine, cervical or metastatic breast cancer alone.

00:00:49:05 – 00:01:00:18
Unknown
For more information about upcoming webinars, support groups, podcasts, and our hotlines, please visit our website at sharecancersupport.org

00:01:00:18 – 00:01:10:14
Unknown
So now I would love to hand it over to Dr. Wendy Garvin. May have to introduce herself. Indeed, the screen is yours.

00:01:10:14 – 00:01:17:13
Unknown
Thank you so much. Megan Clear. Hello everyone. I am so excited to be here with you tonight.

00:01:17:15 – 00:01:21:11
Unknown
My name is Dr. Wendy Garvin Mayo, I am an oncology

00:01:21:11 – 00:01:46:20
Unknown
nurse practitioner. I’m also a resolution strategist. And I am the owner and CEO of Collaborative Cancer Care. And I really, really, really, really, really into the mental health of oncology patients, survivors and caregivers at collaborative cancer care. That’s what we focus on. We focus on the mental health of cancer patients and their family members.

00:01:46:22 – 00:02:13:11
Unknown
And I am going to get started by sharing my slides here so we can get started because I have a lot of information for you and I know we are virtual, but I like to keep these presentations very engaging. So thank you for being here for the Rebuilding Yourself. A Post Breast Cancer Introduction. Here is my introduction. Slide out.

00:02:13:11 – 00:02:37:23
Unknown
We are ready. Went over, but let’s get started. So you are giving me one of your most valuable assets, which is your time. So I want to make sure that you leave here with something that you can refer to and implement after our time is over tonight. So I’m going to ask you to grab a pen, grab some paper, and that’s for you.

00:02:37:23 – 00:02:55:24
Unknown
But I still want you to use a chat to answer some of these questions. So let’s get started with our questions. All right? And I want you to think about it, but I don’t want you to think too much into the first thing that comes to your mind. I want you to put that down So number one in one word.

00:02:56:01 – 00:03:15:10
Unknown
Who are you? Who are you? One word. Write it down for yourself and then put it in the chat so we can share with each other and be in community. Who are you?

00:03:15:12 – 00:03:51:22
Unknown
Number two, What is your superpower? What is your superpower? What is that thing you can do? Or what is that thing that defines you? But what is that thing that no one else can do? What is your superpower? We all have superpowers. That’s what makes us unique. What is your superpower? Write it down and put it in the chat.

00:03:51:24 – 00:04:19:04
Unknown
In. My last question for you is What are you passionate about? What is that thing that lights you up? What is that thing? And these questions are important to answer because we don’t think about these things every day. But I’m asking you tonight to really lean in to Who are you? What is your superpower? What are you passionate about?

00:04:19:10 – 00:04:49:02
Unknown
What is that thing that lights you up, even if you haven’t felt it in a while? I want you to revisit it tonight. All right. So breast cancer leaves a lasting impact on our lives. We’re living our lives in this world, doing our day to day thing. And then you have the appointment, You find the lump, and then you hear the words.

00:04:49:04 – 00:05:31:00
Unknown
You have breast cancer. Your whole life shifts, your whole identity shifts, your whole meaning of who you knew yourself to be, shifts. But the world is still going. It’s still moving forward. But breast cancer is just a chapter in the book. And as you are the one being diagnosed with breast cancer, the one diagnosed with breast cancer, going through treatment or finishing treatment, you have to make a choice.

00:05:31:02 – 00:06:08:20
Unknown
Do you allow breast cancer to hinder you physically, emotionally or mentally? Or do you allow this to be an opportunity for you to pivot and opportunity to grow? Now, that may sound easy, but it’s not easy. But it’s possible. And when we don’t really pivot to healing or leaning into it, it’s going to be really hard to heal mentally, physically and emotionally, because all dimensions of our lives are impacted.

00:06:08:22 – 00:06:43:08
Unknown
And when we are when you hear that you have a diagnosis of breast cancer, it really is the time to have self-compassion. It really is the time to lean into your mental and emotional wellness because the mind is such a powerful thing. But as humans, we are resilient. We are resilient, but we have to lean into that. When we don’t lean into that, we stay in the middle kind of broken.

00:06:43:10 – 00:07:21:20
Unknown
And that’s why community is so important. When you were diagnosed with breast cancer, you really experienced the lid. Do you know what the lid is? Have you ever heard of the lid? The less I do when you get that diagnosis, it’s like the lid suppresses you. It suppresses the person you knew yourself to be. It suppresses your superpower, it suppresses your passion, it suppresses your dreams, it suppresses your purpose.

00:07:21:22 – 00:08:07:21
Unknown
You feel isolated, you feel alone. And that lid that I’m talking about is really stress. A diagnosis of cancer leads to a stress response. Now, what is stress? How would you define stress? Tell me in the chat, how would you define stress? Because stress is whatever you say it is. It is a personal phenomenon. Everyone will define it differently in everyone has a different capacity for stress, but stress becomes that lid and we have to make a choice when we’re in that state of stress.

00:08:07:23 – 00:08:41:11
Unknown
And there are many types of stress. There’s acute stress is episodic. Stress is you stress in this chronic stress. Usually when we have a cancer diagnosis, we enter chronic stress because we’re thinking automatically, my life is over. So we enter the stress response and we have this permanent lid on us. We can’t see life. We can’t see the future and not for anything.

00:08:41:11 – 00:09:19:21
Unknown
But when you’re diagnosed, so much is happening. I see so many patients who come into my office for therapy where they had surgery, they had chemo, they had all these things, they had interruption in treatment, they had mastectomies, double mastectomies, they had reconstruction. Even though things are happening so fast, mentally, they are still in the office sitting on the table where that provider said, you have cancer, so you lose something.

00:09:19:23 – 00:10:06:19
Unknown
It’s like time. It’s a phenomenon that many people don’t understand then. But what happens is the stress response. It impacts your body, it impacts your ability to heal. That chronic stress can lead to depression, anxiety, insomnia, such thinness, abuse, high blood pressure, diabetes, acid reflux, impotence in men, infertility in women, in the also looking at how it can lead to some cancers.

00:10:06:21 – 00:10:31:19
Unknown
And there was a study that was done that showed that breast one with breast cancer said they were diagnosed with breast cancer when they were in one of the most stressful times in their lives because chronic stress, the release of that cortisol, that stress hormone creates an imbalance in our body and it messes our immune system, its ability to heal.

00:10:31:21 – 00:10:55:23
Unknown
So when we’re in chronic stress, we enter the cycle, we enter this cycle, this stress cycle where we have the stressor of the cancer, we have our reaction to it. And it’s wearing it’s hearing in our body, our health is diminished, we have increased sensitivity and we just keep going around. You just keep going around in the cycle.

00:10:56:00 – 00:11:32:20
Unknown
And what’s happening is you’re losing capacity to fight the cancer. You’re losing capacity to really, really be strong enough to have the chemotherapy and manage the side effects. It impacts every part of your life. But stress, the cycle of stress. How do we get out of this cycle of stress? How do we get out of this cycle of stress?

00:11:32:22 – 00:12:26:17
Unknown
The first thing we need to do is just stop, take a breath. Stop and take a breath right now. Stop. Sit back, Close your eyes and take a breath. The power of the breath. It allows us to regain our control, to think clearly when we’re in this cycle, we’re not really breathing. The power of our breath is evidence that we are still here.

00:12:26:19 – 00:13:00:13
Unknown
We are still alive. There are some things we can still tap into. We have some control, even though we feel like we’re out of control. The breath is so powerful, but underutilized. And there are many other things you can do that we’re going to go over. But I want you to really understand the power of your breath. The power of your breath.

00:13:00:15 – 00:13:33:11
Unknown
So what are some other things you can do to get out of this cycle? You can move your body. Evidence shows that physical activity can really help you get out of the cycle of stress, and it also helps with fatigue while you’re going through treatment and even after treatment. As a survivor, you can breathe, which we did. Positive social interaction.

00:13:33:13 – 00:14:07:02
Unknown
Where’s your tribe? Do you have a tribe? Where’s your community? LAUGHTER You may not think you want to laugh during this time, but it’s good medicine for your soul. What makes you laugh? Do you remember? When was the last time you had a belly laugh? What was the last time you had a belly laugh? Put it in the chart for me.

00:14:07:04 – 00:14:57:06
Unknown
When was the last time you had that belly laugh? Just from your gut. That is a great stress reliever. Affection, a hug, someone just to rub you. But are we okay asking for that? Crying? A good cry can really take you out of that cycle. Creative expression. You don’t have to be an artist, but you can paint, you can draw, you can journal, you can do ceramic.

00:14:57:08 – 00:15:40:01
Unknown
Just create something. Creative expression is very powerful. Journaling is another one for some people. Think of journaling as creative expression, which you are creating and support groups. Many of the patients I see do not want support groups. They’re not there yet, but it has to be on your time. But support groups are very helpful because you are able to engage with people who truly understand what you’re going through and you really understand that you are not alone.

00:15:40:03 – 00:16:20:24
Unknown
Now, breaking the cycle of stress. There are so many other things you can do, but what’s really important for you is to understand how can you break the cycle? What helps you break the cycle? Is it breathing? Is it journaling? Is it your community? Is it movement? Is it crying? What is it? Help identify it. But I want to tell you, I want to tell you what the number one stress management technique is.

00:16:21:01 – 00:17:19:02
Unknown
Do you want to take a guess for me in the chat? What’s the number one stress management technique? Do you want to know? The number one stress management technique is taking back control of your mind. It’s taking back control of your mind. When we are stressed, we feel like we’re out of control. That thing that thought, that person, that situation, the cancer has our power, has our energy to manage stress, to take control of that because you still are in control.

00:17:19:04 – 00:18:01:12
Unknown
You can control your breath, you can control how you handle it. You can control your perception of it. It’s still happening. Not easy, but possible. Not easy, but possible. And even after treatment in survivor specific, only because so many cancer patients are moving from active treatment to survivorship, but their mind is still in that cycle of cancer. In survivorship, we have to take back our control.

00:18:01:14 – 00:18:40:09
Unknown
We have to regain our control because we have work to do. Life’s not over. We’re still here. We’re still breathing. And I want to give you an easy framework to take back control of your mind. In my book, I’ll outline the Shape framework and I want to take you through it really quickly. It’s really taking a deep breath and sitting down with your self and really thinking about this.

00:18:40:11 – 00:19:03:23
Unknown
And it’s important to do this because when you hear the diagnosis of cancer or even when you’re done with cancer and you’re a survivor, life is happening. So many things are happening, it’s really important for you to understand what’s your story around the stressor that you’re thinking about? What is the story? Because whatever the story is, it’s the truth.

00:19:04:00 – 00:19:41:18
Unknown
Whatever you’re telling yourself, it’s the truth. But what is the story? When did the stressors start? Is this the stress related to the cancer, or is this the stress related to reoccurrence? Is this a stress related to family? Well, but what is it? Can you identify it in? This is an important question to ask, because many times we live in a state of stress that we don’t even know when it started it maybe having cancer, a cancer diagnosis or becoming a survivor just compounded that we kind of get lost in it.

00:19:41:20 – 00:20:25:06
Unknown
But what is your personal story around it? The second part of this framework is honing in on what do you want as a survivor of cancer? What do you want? What is it that you want? Do you want to maybe revisit your superpower, revisit your purpose, your passion, that thing that lights you up? What is it that you want?

00:20:25:08 – 00:21:17:10
Unknown
Because many times there is a gap between the stressor, the story that we’re telling ourselves and what we want. Because remember, energy and power shifted. Energy and power shifted when we have the stress in the A is for assess what do you have or what do you need to help you really obtain what you want or want to help you mitigate the stressor that can be talking to someone, maybe going to therapy, maybe reframing, maybe gratitude, maybe even visiting a superpower.

00:21:17:12 – 00:21:54:06
Unknown
Remember that you still have purpose in this world. Your superpower is really a purpose. You’re still here to serve the world. The P is for plan. How were you going to operationalize what you just identify, right, that you need? How were you going to operationalize it? How are you going to put it into motion? That plan should be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timed.

00:21:54:08 – 00:22:17:13
Unknown
And then when are you going to do it? When are you going to execute it? And I always say there’s no better time than today. So it’s important to understand your story around the stressor. Take some time just to take a deep breath and just do some introspection. But what is the story? When did it start? What is it really?

00:22:17:13 – 00:22:38:07
Unknown
Is it something I can control or something I can’t control? What is it that I can control? But then also think about what do you want in all of this chaos, a state of chaos. What is it that you want? What is it that you need to obtain? What you want, or what is it that you need to reduce that stressor?

00:22:38:09 – 00:23:04:15
Unknown
And what plan are you going to put into place? And when are you going to execute it? I use this framework in practice with patients and it works wonders because it really makes you sit down and really think. And if you can sit down and think you are still in control, you are still in control. And again, I want to emphasize this is not easy, but it’s possible.

00:23:04:17 – 00:23:51:04
Unknown
And it’s possible with three things. It’s possible with the right support, the right accountability in the right community support accountability and community. Because cancer does not define you. Cancer does not define you. Please say it with me. Cancer does not define me. It transform you, but it doesn’t define you. You know, when I was a nurse practitioner working in the clinic, I always tell my patients, you have cancer.

00:23:51:04 – 00:24:33:16
Unknown
Cancer doesn’t have you. It’s really how you think about it. It’s taking back the power. You have cancer. Cancer does not have you. It does not define you. So no one in this world is you. You are uniquely you. You have a special fingerprint that is your superpower. When we are stressed, when we are under the lid, we lose sight of that superpower.

00:24:33:18 – 00:25:31:18
Unknown
We lose our confidence, we lose our passion. We lose sight of our purpose. But with the right support, accountability and community, you can tap back into that. And you know what I say. You tap back in, tap back in, and you reintroduce yourself to the world. You reintroduce yourself to the world. You regain your control, you regain your power, you regain your confidence and you reenter reduce yourself to the world because you have something special for someone in this world, Whether you can see it now, I’m telling you, you have something special to contribute to this world.

00:25:31:20 – 00:26:06:20
Unknown
And with that, I want you to write your reintroduction statement. I want you to pick up your pen and your paper, and I want you to put Hi, my name is whatever your name is, and I am passionate about whatever you’re passionate about. And my superpower is whatever your superpower is. And I look forward to impacting the world by me.

00:26:06:20 – 00:26:48:13
Unknown
Give you a few minutes to write that. And I would love I would love to see your reintroductions. When stress has a hold of us, our whole life shifts. And what I call it is really we have kind of like identity dissonance where who you thought you were, who people perceive you to be and who you really are in conflict because everything seems so, so in shambles.

00:26:48:15 – 00:27:20:17
Unknown
You can’t really see clearly. It seems so foggy. You don’t see the possibility, managing our stress, managing our mind, taking back our control allows us to exist in this world and show up the way we want to be seen. Not allowing cancer to define us, allowing it to be a page or chapter in the book because we still have work to do.

00:27:20:19 – 00:27:56:04
Unknown
And I want you to think about it like this. This just came to me. Thank you. I just came to me. So I was a scientist and I worked on clinical trials, oncology clinical trials, and we worked really hard on clinical trials. And it’s so rewarding to see the trials be successful. And because of the work we do as scientists with the team, society is able to live longer.

00:27:56:04 – 00:28:37:10
Unknown
We have millions of cancer survivors in this world, millions of cancer survivors in this world. Because of that work, we do, it’s to really help lift the lid a little bit where cancer doesn’t become a death sentence Because of that work we do. It gives you more time. It gives you an opportunity to pivot. It gives you an opportunity to lean into your purpose, lean into your superpower, and it gives you the opportunity to impact the world for someone else.

00:28:37:12 – 00:29:29:06
Unknown
So survivors in this world, cancer survivors, it’s all the research that’s being done on all of these chemotherapy and holistic medications and alternative therapies. But now that we’re here, you’re here, you are here, you have the time, you have the superpower. You have to lean into it to impact the world because people are waiting on you. People are waiting on your fingerprint, People are waiting on your superpower.

00:29:29:08 – 00:30:03:10
Unknown
People are waiting on you to show up and show out. So I want you to take that statement and I want you to re-introduce yourself to someone in the world. And you can start by reintroducing yourself to you. You can look in the mirror and reintroduce yourself to you. That’s where it starts in even though you wrote it down and you may not feel it, you may not feel it today.

00:30:03:10 – 00:30:50:07
Unknown
You may not feel it at this moment. But I’m telling you, we need you in this world. There are things that you can do. There are things that you know, there are things that you’ve been through that’s going to help someone else in this world. So we have to remove the lid. It’s hard work, but it’s possible to remove the lid so we can really showcase that superpower, so we can really do show up in all of our glory so we can really show this impact the world.

00:30:50:09 – 00:31:30:22
Unknown
And with that, we’re going to go into questions and answers. But I want you to remember I want you to remember you have cancer. Cancer does not have you. Stress is a lid that really suppresses us from leaning into our control, leaning into our power, our superpower, and that we can remove the lid. We just have to really identify our support system, who’s our accountability partner and where is our community?

00:31:30:24 – 00:31:53:10
Unknown
Those are three things I want you to take away in The fourth one is make sure you reintroduce yourself to someone and you can start with yourself. Thank you so much for your time. And we’ll go in to Q&A. Thank you so much, Wendy. I just want to read really quick some of the reintroductions in the in the chat, some Karen.

00:31:53:10 – 00:32:18:13
Unknown
Hi, my name is Karen and I am passionate about the more my superpower is empathy. And I look forward to impacting the world by wishing the best for all through happiness. We have serena. I am serena and i am passion about life. My superpower is to touch lives and i look forward to being present one conversation at a time.

00:32:18:15 – 00:32:50:13
Unknown
So, ha. Yes, I love that love. I love that. Yeah. And so. Well, we’ll get into our key. May Now and everyone remember you can still select questions using the Q&A function at the bottom of your screen. I am going to try and get through all of the questions that were submitted. So here we go. This one I categorized a lot of the questions that we received, and this one is under late career and stealing lost.

00:32:50:15 – 00:33:19:01
Unknown
You know, what do you do if you want to leave a current job to pursue something more meaningful? Right. But are afraid to make that leap. And then the second part to that and I have been in that situation, like what advice would you then give someone facing this decision after cancer or advice for those who just feel lost and struggling to find direction in survivorship?

00:33:19:03 – 00:33:39:07
Unknown
Yes. So with transition and, you know, like that, that fear or that feeling you get right here in your gut, that’s a shift happening. That’s the shift, right? You got to lean into it. So what I would say to that is that sometimes, you know, when you are a survivor and you’ve been through cancer, you go back to the same job.

00:33:39:07 – 00:34:05:21
Unknown
It’s really hard because it’s like, how do I sit? I don’t want to talk about it. Right. I hear that a lot. I don’t want to talk about it. People are going to ask me about my hair, about where I don’t want to talk about it. So making that transition is like a new start for you. So what I would say to that is that you find someone who can support you through that transition, who’s going to hold you accountable for taking the steps.

00:34:05:23 – 00:34:26:18
Unknown
It will be scary, but they’ll be there for you. So finding a coach, finding a community member, a friend, but someone who’s going to really take you through the journey because sometimes just because you feel like you’re so alone, but getting out going to be so refreshing and remember that that that gut feeling is the shift that’s been great.

00:34:26:18 – 00:34:54:24
Unknown
Things are going to happen. We got to lean into it though. But yeah, I would I would say just get support and make the transition and you know, because I did go through that and I, I really those two questions, I kind of like combine them because I was like, my God, I there at one point. And so I think also too is determining like, what is it that you’re leaning towards?

00:34:54:24 – 00:35:29:08
Unknown
Like so you’re wanting to make that leap. What is it that interests you and find people like Dr. Wendy was saying, you know, find people who are doing that or find you’re in, so to speak, and ask questions. And I got to tell you, finding that support, accountability and community really will help, you know, elevate you forward. So a lot of that, I have to say to that, too, because, you know, like we were saying in the presentation, that after you get through cancer, you shift something, shift in you, right?

00:35:29:10 – 00:35:48:10
Unknown
You may find purpose, you may find a new superpower. We find a new interest. Like, I don’t want to do this anymore right. So so you have to honor that. But yeah, and someone said in the chest that find a mentor, coach, mentor. Someone who’s going to hold you accountable. Yes. Yes. So this one, I. I put a couple of questions.

00:35:48:12 – 00:36:15:06
Unknown
We had some under the category at recovery. So I know for me, I know I was shocked by how much time it takes to fully heal some the surgeries and the toxic treatments. And just like the the fight or flight mode. Right. And so some of the questions that we received were why does it take the body so long to recover?

00:36:15:08 – 00:36:44:10
Unknown
And another part of that is why does some oncologists say that we are cured after five years? Because I of feel like that messes with your mind. I don’t like that word cured. Yes, the slides will be available. I don’t like that word cured. I like to say no evidence of disease. My my boyfriend said because we can’t guarantee that there won’t be a recurrence or a metastasis.

00:36:44:10 – 00:37:14:16
Unknown
So I think it’s like this two part question of how to why does it take so long? What can we do and how do we get rid of that fear or somehow put a lid on that fear of our times? Yeah. So I think likes why it takes so long. Because it’s traumatic. It’s traumatic and your body, your mind goes into a state of shock because it’s like the big C, right?

00:37:14:18 – 00:37:38:22
Unknown
So in our office, I always say our patients are really experiencing post-traumatic stress syndrome, right? Your and like I said, you know, everything is going on, but you’re still there where they said you had cancer, right? That you had a mastectomy, you had surgery, you had all these things. But mentally you’re still there. So it just takes long for it’s different times for different people.

00:37:39:00 – 00:37:57:12
Unknown
And I always say it really depends on who you are, how you live your life before cancer. Right? Because some people, you know, can say, they kind of have this mindset. Right? And she was like, you’re oblivious or you’re not in reality, but that’s them coping. But I think everyone has to give themselves the amount of time it takes.

00:37:57:12 – 00:38:20:17
Unknown
And it’s not my time is not going to be the same as your timing, but give yourself grace and find a community. Find someone to talk to. Because many times when you have a you don’t want to talk about it right? And I think that’s where that identity shift comes in, right? Especially with our friends and family like, you know me to be this way.

00:38:20:20 – 00:38:41:20
Unknown
But now this way I don’t know who I am. I don’t know how I should feel. I don’t know who I want to be. All these questions, unanswered questions, right? You know, but then you still show up like this. Yeah. You wear the mask, right? Whether it’s for your kid, whether it’s for your husband, your wife, you know, work.

00:38:41:22 – 00:39:14:09
Unknown
So. So there is an identity thing going on here. There’s something going on that I always say you got. We got to work through together. We got to work through together. So I think that’s why it takes one, because it’s traumatic, it’s a traumatic experience. And in terms of side effects, you know that that’s cumulative with therapies and depending on, you know, who your doctor is, I always say it’s always nice to have palliative care involved.

00:39:14:13 – 00:39:47:15
Unknown
And I think when people hear politics and think of hospice, but it’s totally different, right, for symptom management, even after, you know, you’ve been through chanting and survivorship, you should still see a palliative care provider who can help you with those symptoms or even a natural path like doctor, right? You can help you with those symptoms. You know, I’m just looking here in the chat, Jocelyn says My mind is recovering slower than my body.

00:39:47:17 – 00:40:18:12
Unknown
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s real. It is real and it is very important, you know, and finding that support. So that’s why I’m so excited that people are here because this is a way of finding support and giving techniques and tools to add to your survivorship toolbox or else you’re still in treatment stage for your ongoing toolbox, right? So this was an interesting question.

00:40:18:12 – 00:40:37:22
Unknown
I actually had to look it up to make sure I understood it right. But, you know, as we’re talking about the mind and body healing and how that can take time because that is trauma, that is shock. So what about like what about protein exercises? And I had to look that up to see, like, what does that mean?

00:40:37:22 – 00:41:03:06
Unknown
And for the audience it means what are some ways to help replace the protein in our muscles, to aid in making our muscles stronger, to heal faster? So I would defer to a nutritionist for that. I don’t have the answer to that, but I would refer you to a nutritionist. I would refer you to a natural empathic doctor to really help you with that.

00:41:03:06 – 00:41:28:16
Unknown
But I think it’s a great question, and I know a lot of patients do a lot of research and they find different things, which I think is great. And in saying that, I want you to also make sure that your providers on board with you, because sometimes some providers are like, absolutely not, right. You want someone who’s going to be gentle with you, who’s going to educate you, right?

00:41:28:16 – 00:41:54:01
Unknown
Like you said, you don’t like to have that conversation with with your providers. So that provider patient relationship is so important. When you have questions like this, when you have thoughts about, you know, words they use, like I’m not comfortable using that word, can you not use it with me? Right. So that advocacy is very important. So I would say that I would refer you to a nutritionist or naturopathy doctor for that question.

00:41:54:07 – 00:42:26:00
Unknown
That is a great question. Right. I would like to look at so very, very unique question. So thank you to whoever submitted that. And I know you went through some of the relaxation techniques that can help with the mental and physical stress of recovery. Like, are there just some key ones that you see that continue to pop up in your patients that maybe you can just kind of reiterate and some things that we can do to help relax?

00:42:26:02 – 00:42:49:08
Unknown
Yes, breathing and people poo poo breathing, but don’t you feel different after you take a couple of deep breaths? It’s really regaining your control because when life is happening, you’re out of control. When we’re breathing, we’re not really controlling our breath. That deep breathing is you are regaining control of something, of breathing in, breathing out, and it just recenter is you in writing.

00:42:49:10 – 00:43:15:16
Unknown
Writing is very powerful. You don’t have the journal. It could be a list. And I tell my patients all the time, you know, make sure you have a notebook and a pen near your bed. And when you can’t sleep, I want you to write all those thoughts down. Just write them. Not in a paragraph. Just list them, draw them whatever you have to do, write or talk them out in your phone on a recorder, because that’s going to create distance between you and the things in your head.

00:43:15:18 – 00:43:36:20
Unknown
So you have to get it out somehow. You have to get you have you need that outlet. And then what I say is bring it back when you come to the clinic and let’s go over it. Right. And then you’ll see reoccurring things right in that journal or that brain dump, as we call it. But I think, you know, writing, I think breathing and I think moving your body is so important.

00:43:36:20 – 00:44:03:23
Unknown
Even to walk a walk with some music is really important. And what I would say is that try something different. I think many times we are kind of, you know, in our own element. We don’t want to try. Our minds are closed. Like, I’m not doing yoga, I’m not breathing, I’m not meditating, I’m not doing all these things, but I would say have an open mind to try it once or twice to just see if it work for you.

00:44:04:00 – 00:44:22:24
Unknown
Right. Because you just don’t know. You never been here before, right? You don’t know what it’s going to be. But I would say be open to trying new things that you may have said. I would never do that. Right. But yeah, walking is is very helpful for your mind and your body. Yeah. That’s such a good I used to be one of those.

00:44:22:24 – 00:44:48:10
Unknown
I was like meditation. I can’t clear my mind. What are you talking about? And then I learn it’s not about clearing your mind, you know? And. And it’s about that breathing. I mean, there’s a reason why in exercises or taking dance or what have we, they’re always saying breathe. Remember to breathe. So excellent. Excellent point. So now I’m going to try to move into intimacy and body own.

00:44:48:12 – 00:45:12:00
Unknown
How do we build trust in our post cancer bodies? Because for some of us and I won’t say all for some, we feel betrayed by our body. So we don’t know this body. I’m always calling my body this body. So I’m like, I don’t know. This word, but you say, How can we build trust with this post cancer body?

00:45:12:00 – 00:45:40:02
Unknown
Or if you are one of those who’s in attendance tonight and you are metastatic at it, what kind of relationship can you build with your body? Yeah, it comes. It comes to getting to know your body again, right? Reintroducing yourself to your body. But it has to come around to acceptance, right? It’s your body. You may feel betrayed by your body with cancer, but it’s really getting to work with your body, knowing your body and trusting your gut.

00:45:40:02 – 00:46:02:23
Unknown
Because your mind and body, it’s all connected, right? Even though it’s like, you know, you have this perception of it’s you know, this body in me, but it is your body, right? So it’s redefining that relationship. It’s giving the body what it needs. Right. And it’s getting in tune with your body. It’s getting aligned, getting in alignment with your body.

00:46:03:00 – 00:46:25:17
Unknown
Right. And that takes time. And that can also take some some therapy, Right. Or just counseling to how do I how do I get in line with this? How do I get into a relationship with this body right. Yeah. And then at least the intimacy to it, because if you don’t feel line, you don’t feel like this is your body, how would you begin to be intimate with your partner?

00:46:25:19 – 00:46:53:17
Unknown
I mean, that literally leads into the next question of how can you reintroduce intimacy in your relationship when your libido is extremely low? Post-treatment? Yeah, So that is a real problem. And I would say you would need to someone about that. And there are things that can be done about that. Even if you are in survivorship or had cancer, not let anyone tell you there’s nothing to be done.

00:46:53:17 – 00:47:23:14
Unknown
There are things that can be done. But I also think just in terms of intimacy, it’s how do we define intimacy and, you know, how do you define it? Intimacy is not all about having sex, right? That’s what that’s what we think of it is it’s not always about that, but it’s how do you and your partner define intimacy and what I find that a lot of couples go, you know, what happens in that journey of cancer can really define what happens in survivorship.

00:47:23:14 – 00:47:50:24
Unknown
So many people do get divorced or relationships don’t last through. But I think it’s really trying to define the relationship with your partner. Despite the cancer. Right. So is that person supportive if they’re not supportive or do we feel comfortable enough to say, what I need is right? Are we able to advocate there? Because that takes advocacy, too, Because you have to remember things are shifting.

00:47:50:24 – 00:48:13:06
Unknown
Things are shifting for you. Things are shifting for them. But how do we kind of keep the communication open? And that reintroduction is real because when you’re diagnosed, you’re reintroducing yourself, right? Because you have fears, you have stress, you have insides. You know, I need to reintroduce this person to you, Right. Because I wasn’t that before. Right. You get through the treatment, you kind of, you know, relax.

00:48:13:06 – 00:48:41:10
Unknown
We have some surety and then you you’re always reintroducing yourself. And I always say this I give you permission so you can reintroduce yourself to anyone at any time. Okay? Because we are evolving human beings and you can always have a reintroduction. That is so true. And, you know, and I would add to when when you’re thinking about intimacy, we mate like I am, I can’t feel anything.

00:48:41:12 – 00:49:05:23
Unknown
I’m numb completely on the outer left side of my breast. That’s where my cancer was. And so I think it’s also true. And there’s no shame in talking with your partner, you know, no matter what sexual orientation you are, you know, in talks with your partner. Because now what may have turned you on or turned them on is going to be different because you have no stealing.

00:49:05:23 – 00:49:28:02
Unknown
So because I also say as a single woman, we got a question. So I’m like, hey, I’m not the only single one. This is fantastic. But for those who are single and struggling to accept their bodies and reentering the dating scene after breast cancer, you know, as you talk about like this trauma and I have struggled with this as well.

00:49:28:02 – 00:49:58:21
Unknown
So I thought was a really great question. You know, we’re out dating, like you said, we’re not we’re different now. And I absolutely I couldn’t not not talk about, my God, I had breast cancer. What is some advice or ways to kind of, you know, not control, but keep keep our perspective and help us with those kind of like just trivial conversations when we’ve almost died.

00:49:58:23 – 00:50:19:08
Unknown
Yeah, I think it’s it’s being, like I said, getting in line with your body first, right? I think it’s, you know, understanding and being comfortable with this. Right. And it takes time. It takes time before you can go out and date. And that’s not going to make it easier. But you feel a little more confident to say, you know, well, I had breast cancer.

00:50:19:08 – 00:50:37:03
Unknown
I’ve been through treatment or I had a mastectomy. And I think it’s it’s hard. I’m saying it like this, but it’s hard. Right. But I think it takes practice and it takes support. You don’t want to do that alone and feel like you have no less want to come back and kind of talk through it with. So I think anything you do and that’s why I think it’s like our clinics.

00:50:37:03 – 00:50:54:23
Unknown
We have a lot of breast cancer survivors and it’s really helping them like reenter the world right in this. What is so different now? They view it so different, but it’s redefining what it is for you. What feels good for you? When is the right time for you? Right. It may not be the first that second day or may not.

00:50:54:23 – 00:51:24:00
Unknown
I’m not ready to date. Right. So so I think it’s being giving yourself grace and being gentle with yourself, being very gentle and checking in, checking in. Because you may feel good today. Tomorrow you may not feel good. And that’s okay. Right? But biking is the constant check in. And how much of it do you want to expose to people or do you want to kind of figure out where they are before you, you know?

00:51:24:02 – 00:51:52:19
Unknown
Right. And that’s all okay. There’s no right answer, but you will know when the time is right to disclose what you’ve been through to someone you’re dating. And some people put it in their profile that they like, you know, dating online. They may put it in their profiles because now, I mean, cancer is so prevalent. You know, most of the people know someone who’s been through cancer, going through cancer, you know, So it is very prevalent and we’re talking about it a lot more.

00:51:52:19 – 00:52:25:13
Unknown
There’s an awareness there. Very true. Very true. So mental. I’m going to switch gears and talk about you have quite a few questions around surgery and pain and healing, right? So let’s see, what are some ways to manage joint pain and weight gain after treatment? And you know, and then to kind of add to that and this other question did come from someone who was metastatic.

00:52:25:15 – 00:52:53:19
Unknown
They wanted to know and again, this is around like the side effects, right, of sometimes you feel like heat and discomfort in your in your chest after, you know, a mastectomy or you’re having tissue expanders and like, well, what can we do to manage these different types of side effects that I’ll feel just awful and can really affect our self-esteem too.

00:52:53:21 – 00:53:23:05
Unknown
Yeah, absolutely. Well, that is a real phenomenon that people experience and sometimes that can make people isolate and not really show up in the world. They want to be seen. And I would say with that, again, your oncologist or not even just your uncle, your primary care doctor. So I sit on our board here for early onset survivorship and we are looking at how do we educate primary care providers on how to take care of survivors.

00:53:23:07 – 00:53:49:02
Unknown
And, you know, are they helping you find resource is where a palliative care person can probably help you with that, right? Or a natural Catholic that can probably help you with that. And these are things that you don’t have to just live with. There’s something there, someone. Right. But again, it’s being open and it’s having the right the right support your doctor or even a support group.

00:53:49:02 – 00:54:10:08
Unknown
The support group that I go to because I sponsor a support group, they share so many resources in. They’re like, they have this stuff. They’re seeing my friend here like so finding out what other people are doing, who are they seeing can definitely help. But you don’t have to suffer in pain. I will say that. So make sure you’re turning over every stone.

00:54:10:08 – 00:54:35:07
Unknown
If you don’t know where you need help finding someone, please reach out to me. I will help you find someone. And then with weight gain, I think it’s I think that’s that’s there’s multiple things that cause that I think is treatment. It can be hormones. I think it’d be depression stress. Right. Changing diet. So what. Yeah.

00:54:35:09 – 00:54:57:15
Unknown
Yeah. So so with that it’s important to I think it’s hard even if you didn’t have cancer to lose weight but to get into some program, we are starting a shape program for cancer cancer survivors where we’re going to be looking at that. How are you eating? Because sometimes even before you don’t know how to eat, what do I eat?

00:54:57:15 – 00:55:21:12
Unknown
What I eat? How much exercise, Like all these things right. You need you need help, right? You need someone to kind of guide you to say, hey, try this. Right? And then why are you overeating, right? Or or is it the hormones or what can we do? Right? Because, you know, like, the weight definitely leads to joint pain and then that leads to the pain get debilitated.

00:55:21:12 – 00:55:51:03
Unknown
Then the quality of life is, you know, there’s no why. Right. And that’s what we want, quality of life at the end of the day. So, yeah, I would say, you know, trying not to do anything alone, that that’s that is really key. You don’t have to do anything alone. And I think things work out a little better when you have community or you have that provider advocate or just someone, someone who can actually help you and walk you through it, you know?

00:55:51:04 – 00:56:22:13
Unknown
So I just want to say and Becca, we we do have some resources about disclosure that we can make sure that we share when we send out the recording. Because, you know, as Dr. Wendy said, it’s it’s got to be you feel ready to disclose. And yeah, it can feel weird to mention that you had breast cancer wherever you are in your journey.

00:56:22:13 – 00:56:50:05
Unknown
So I will make sure to send out some resources after this. Okay. I just want to make sure, you know, I saw your question and Jocelyn. Yes. We also have information about therapist websites you can go to that are vetted and to find one and what you can often say is, hey, I need a sliding scale. And see, I see that a lot because I’m like, I can’t afford like $200.

00:56:50:05 – 00:57:16:10
Unknown
Even more than that, I’m like, I need a sliding scale fee, so don’t be afraid to say that. So we are at time I tried to get to as many as we could, and so everyone is tonight. And Dr. Wendy, before we wrap up, what are some takeaways for our audience this evening? One, understand that you have cancer.

00:57:16:10 – 00:57:43:24
Unknown
Cancer does not have you even though me feel that way, you have the ability to take your power back. You have the ability to really lean into your superpower and the world is waiting on you. They’re waiting on that gift, that purpose, that superpower that you have to contribute in, in everything. You’re going through their support out there, you are truly not alone.

00:57:44:01 – 00:58:06:02
Unknown
You are truly not alone. And if you need someone, you have making clear, you have share. You have myself. You are not alone. And I want you to really know that. And I really mean that. I really mean that because everyone on here, you still have purpose. You still have so much give to the world. And that is my take away.

00:58:06:04 – 00:58:45:09
Unknown
I’ll start crying. Thank you so much, Dr. Linda. Seriously. Beautiful, thoughtful and intentional discussion. And thank you to everyone who attended tonight. And the chat was lit, which is fantastic. I’d love to see it. So everyone, we will have a recording of this program and it’ll be available on our website in about 1 to 2 weeks. Okay, So please make sure to check out Cher’s website for upcoming educational programs, our latest podcast episode for our Busy life is on the website right now.

00:58:45:09 – 00:59:00:02
Unknown
Wherever you listen to your podcasts and of course our support groups and make sure you check out when the next one is that you like best and attend. And don’t forget to follow us on social media as well.

00:59:00:02 – 00:59:12:02
Unknown
this concludes the webinar and thank you again, Doctor Wendy, and I hope that everyone has a great evening and a great rest of your week.